Birth is not meant to be easy. No rite of passage is... It is humbling. It takes you to the edges of yourself and will rock you to your absolute core. This is true whether your baby arrives with no help at all, with every medical intervention available, or something in between.
Unless you're new around here, you know that I believe birth is not a medical event, but rather a physiological process and transformative rite of passage that sometimes requires medical intervention.
And contrary to what some "natural birth" circles would have you believe, a birth that requires medical intervention does not "skip" the rite of passage, transformative piece. far from it.
Every right of passage includes an element of surrender and letting go. In a "natural" (or physiological birth), that surrender may look like allowing your mind to take a back seat and your body to do whatever it needs to release your baby. That might include feeling intense sensations and learning to work with them, meditating, screaming, or squatting next to a baby dear in the forest as you quietly breathe your baby out.
In the case of birth that requires medical intervention, especially unwanted medical intervention, you're still surrendering to that which is out of your control. Which is exactly what birth requires of us.
Birth is not meant to be easy. No rite of passage is. It is meant to illuminate those parts of yourself that need to be transformed - ready or not. It is humbling. It takes you to the edges of yourself and will rock you to your absolute core. This is true whether your baby arrives with no help at all, with every medical intervention available, or something in between.
So to the moms who are currently preparing for birth, know this: You don't have to be "perfect" to get this right. You don't have to "do birth" a certain way in order to have a profound and beautiful experience. Make your plans, of course. Do what is in your control to come as close to possible to the birth you're dreaming of. And then, surrender the rest. Because in birth, just like in life, we ultimately can't control our circumstances. So give yourself grace, compassion, and space for whatever unfolds on this journey.
And to the moms who are grieving the birth they didn't get - I see you. I know you also had to go to the edges of yourself to bring your baby earthside. You had to face your fears head on, and came out the other side stronger for it. Your journey is no less empowering or transformative just because it didn't look like what you imagined. The fact that you faced it and came out the other side is the point.
I also want you to remember - you can find the silver linings and lessons, and also feel grief, shame, guilt, or sadness around your birth story. None if it is "bad", and having those feelings doesn't make you less of a mom. It makes you fully human.
🥰 Please share this with a momma who needs this reminder. Let's normalize birth in all it's forms, and that every mom is a freaking badass, no matter how her baby got to her arms.