Hiring a misaligned provider is one of the biggest mistakes I see people make — and not because the provider is “bad” or unqualified. They’re just not a fit for what that parent actually wanted from their birth.
Choosing a provider can be overwhelming.
Most people just go with the first person they make an appointment with — often based on a friend’s recommendation, a Facebook group post, or whatever practice their clinic referred them to. That's definitely what I did with my first baby, and what lots of my clients have done, too.
But here’s the thing: your provider will have arguably the biggest impact on your birth experience. And with so many decisions to make during pregnancy, this isn’t one to rush through or check off quickly.
In fact, hiring a misaligned provider is one of the biggest mistakes I see people make — and not because the provider is “bad” or unqualified. They’re just not a fit for what that parent actually wanted from their birth.
If I could give new moms one piece of advice, it would be this:
Interview multiple providers. Ask better questions.
Not just the ones that give you surface-level yes/no answers, like “Do you allow laboring in the tub?” — because that “yes” can sometimes turn into a “well, not today” later on. (Trust me. As a doula and birth photographer, I see this all.the.time.)
So instead of asking what they allow, try asking questions that reveal who they are and how they actually support people in labor.
Here are 5 questions I love that will help you do this:
1. What’s your favorite part of supporting people through pregnancy & birth?
This will tell you what they’re passionate about — what lights them up in the work they do. It’s a subtle way of finding out what drives their decisions and where their values lie.
2. What’s the hardest part of your job?
This one catches people off guard (in a good way). You’ll hear what challenges them — and how they approach those challenges. Are they frustrated by hospital politics? Burned out? Still inspired by the hard stuff? It’ll tell you a lot.
3. What does the ideal provider-client relationship look like to you?
Their answer here will reveal whether they see birth as a collaboration, or if they expect you to just go along with the program. You want someone who respects your autonomy and trusts your instincts.
4. What interventions are non-negotiable for you — and why?
Every provider has a line. Whether it’s automatic IVs, induction at 41 weeks, or continuous monitoring, this helps you see where they draw theirs, and whether it aligns with the goals you have for your birth experience.
5. What’s your typical approach when a client’s goals or plans shift during labor?
This is a powerful one. Birth is unpredictable — so how they respond when things change matters. You want someone who doesn’t take control away from you, but works with you to make informed choices along the way.
These questions are more than a script. They’re a way of peeling back the layers and seeing how a provider truly operates.
And one more thing: trust your gut.
How do you feel after your consultation? Do you feel clear, heard, calm, energized? Or did something feel a little off, even if you can’t put your finger on why?
Pay attention to that. Your intuition is heightened during pregnancy for a reason — lean into it.
You are the boss.
This is your birth. Your body. Your baby.
Your provider is someone you’re hiring to support you — not someone you have to impress or please. They’re there to offer insight, guidance, medical support if needed… but the decisions? Those are yours.
Your birth will stay with you for the rest of your life. For your provider, you might be just another Tuesday in L&D. So choose someone who treats you like more than just a chart or a time slot.
Need more support preparing for your birth?
My birth bestie (Kayla of Mother Knows Birth Doula) and I just kicked off the Fall 2025 cohort of The Birth Prep Circle — our 8-week childbirth education course that designed for moms who want to feel informed, confident, and ready for childbirth—without losing sight of the transformation that comes with it.
We explore everything from provider options, comfort measures, birth physiology, and more - all with an underlying theme that honors birth as a rite of passage and the importance of self-trust in the process.
Get in touch if you'd like more info or want to get on the wait list for our next round!
And BONUS — all of my doula clients in Lincoln, Omaha, and surrounding areas get complimentary access to this course. It’s a core part of how I support you prenatally, along with birth planning, education, and deep nervous system support.
If you’re looking for grounded, no-BS support — and documentation that captures the story of your birth — let’s talk.