To surrender doesn’t mean to give up. It means to be present with what is and allow it to be. Birthing in your power means knowing you don’t control every outcome, yet choosing to be deeply present with your body and your baby and responding in the way that feels most true and healthy for you — not the way that’s "expected" of you.
Something I share wholeheartedly is the idea of stepping into your power in birth. I truly believe that if every person gave birth fully in their power, not only would they be transformed, but the ripple effect would transform the world as well.
But often the word power carries a connotation of control. And that’s not at all what I mean. ("control" comes from patriarchal systems, not true power)
I also talk a lot about surrender. I'm sure you've heard of that concept when it comes to birth, too. And surrender can often have a connotation of giving up, not trying (ie: don't make a birth plan - babies don't follow plans)
Birth is wild and primal. Feral. It doesn’t allow us to control it. It requires us to release control. To surrender.
So how do we step into our power and surrender at the same time, when they seem like opposites?
Here’s a very real example from my life this week:
As I write this, I’m on my couch with a nasty cold. There’s never a convenient time to be sick, and as each day passes and I still don’t feel better, the frustration grows. Old me would have taken something and pushed through. I would have tried to operate as though I wasn’t sick at all, staying productive and not missing a beat.
Thankfully, after years of being intentional about this, I’m more inclined to listen. To recognize when my body is asking for rest and respond with compassion instead of resistance.
Do I still feel frustrated? Absolutely.
But I’m choosing to lean in anyway.
That is both power and surrender.
I can’t control the cold. But I do have the power to show up fully with what’s here. To navigate it with love instead of force. To care for myself in the way that feels most aligned. Sometimes that looks like a gentle walk. Sometimes it looks like not moving from the couch for hours. It means not doing what’s expected, but responding to what my body is actually asking of me.
That’s how we show up for birth in both our power and surrender.
They are not opposites. They’re complementary.
To surrender doesn’t mean to give up. It means to be present with what is and allow it to be. Birthing in your power means knowing you don’t control every outcome, yet choosing to be deeply present with your body and your baby and responding in the way that feels most true and healthy for you — not the way that’s "expected" of you.
And spoiler alert - that's how you have an empowering birth, even when (especially when) things don't go to plan. You don't have to give birth next to a baby deer in the forest while your birth team plays the drums around a fire in order to have an empowering birth experience. You can surrender every piece of your birth plan, and still birth fully in your power.
This is one of the foundational things we explore in our 8 week childbirth preparation course, The Birth Prep Circle. We cover all the basics, like how birth works physically, practical tools like comfort measures, and information about interventions. But we also dive deeply into how to build the kind of confidence that allows you to hold both strength and softness at the same time. This is the piece your hospital birth class won't teach you, but is absolutely fundamental if you want to feel both powerful and flexible in your birth experience.
If you’re ready to prepare in a way that deepens your self-trust and strengthens your ability to respond to birth with both power and surrender, we would love to have you join us here.