Two things can be true at the same time. It can be beautiful and hard. You can be happy and sad. You can remember this experience as joyful and difficult.
Some birth stories unfold exactly as planned. Many take unexpected turns and ask more of us than we imagined. This birth was one of those stories.
Eve's pregnancy began with excitement and hope.
“Our pregnancy was planned, and we were so lucky to conceive quickly… only two months after our wedding,” she shared. “I was surprised we were able to conceive so quickly, so I called Cody in shock and excitement as soon as the test came back positive. He came home immediately and we hugged in excitement and joy.”
Eve's pregnancy itself was smooth and uneventful. Appointments were reassuring. Everything appeared to be progressing exactly as expected. And yet, beneath the surface, there was a quiet layer of fear, something many mothers carry, especially when they have witnessed others experience loss or struggle.
“I recall having a lot of fear going into this pregnancy… I had seen so many firsthand experiences of women go through fertility treatments, or even loss in the first trimester. It made me very anxious and made the first trimester really difficult.”
Over time, that fear softened into trust, and she began to enjoy the journey more fully. This was Eve's first birth, and like many first time parents, she approached it with optimism and a plan.
“I’m a very type A, have a plan and control the outcome type of person. I continued to tell myself that it was going to be a really smooth experience.”
She believed birth would be beautiful and seamless. But birth, as we know, often asks us to surrender control in ways we do not anticipate. Which can be especially hard for those of us who identify as "type A" (I'm raising my hand here...)
“Nothing could’ve prepared me for what was ahead… I believed it was going to be this beautiful, seamless experience. Unfortunately that wasn’t my journey. It was rougher than I planned.”
Her body went into prodromal labor at 38 weeks, though at the time, no one realized that is what was happening. The contractions were strong enough to send them to the hospital, and she was admitted. Her vision for birth had been simple. She wanted to let her body do what it was going to do. She hoped to avoid induction if possible, but planned to receive an epidural when the time felt right.
At first, she held firmly to her instincts.
When her doctor suggested breaking her water, she declined. She wanted to give her body more time. But as the hours passed and the pain intensified without much progress, the decisions became harder.
“I remember so many mixed emotions hearing this. Thoughts like: what if I put my baby in distress? What if she wasn’t ready? What if I’m forcing this?”
Eventually, they made the decision to begin Pitocin slowly, and labor began to move forward. Through it all, she leaned on her partner.
“I remember Cody was so strong for me through it all. He was my rock.”
I was serving as the backup doula for this birth, and because documentation is such an integral part of how I support families, I brought my camera, with permission, to capture their story.
At one point during early labor, we were walking the hospital hallway together. Eve casually laughed and said something I'll never forget: “Never did I ever think I would have my birth professionally photographed.”
I love that moment because it is so honest. So many families do not realize how meaningful birth documentation will be until afterward, when they can look back and see their own strength, their partner’s support, and the story of how their baby came into the world. I knew she would be grateful for the photos when it was all said and done.
As labor progressed, the tone in the room began to shift. Her baby’s heart rate decelerations were becoming concerning, and the medical team started monitoring more closely. The room filled with activity. IVs, blood draws, frequent checks. After receiving her epidural, Eve's body progressed quickly to complete dilation. After pushing for a while, baby's heart rate was still not great, so the decision was made to use forceps to assist baby's delivery. Eve did not want to have to use forceps, but in that moment she knew it was the right decision to get her baby here safely.
Two pushes later, baby Charlotte was born.
“She was so beautiful and perfect.”
Just when it seemed the hardest part was over, new challenges began to unfold. Baby Charlotte required close monitoring. Eve developed a fever. Her placenta would not deliver. After significant intervention, it was finally removed, but heavy bleeding followed. Later, she learned she had lost nearly a third of her blood.
“I do remember not realizing how serious the situation was in the moment. The nurses were so sweet and did a great job of remaining calm.”
With rest, nourishment, and a blood transfusion, stability returned. At last, they were able to spend time together as a family and begin settling into life with their new baby.
But then another twist was thrown their way...
After returning home, baby Charlotte developed a low temperature and needed to be admitted to the NICU due to risk of infection. “My heart goes out to all moms, but especially the NICU moms. After being home for 1.5 days, we returned to the hospital… That was the hardest experience of my entire life.”
Thankfully, Eve and Charlotte both recovered and are doing well, despite a really rough start. Eve shared this piece of wisdom that I think is so important for all moms to hear - especially those who had a birth experience that felt "derailed".
"Two things can be true at the same time. It can be beautiful and hard. You can be happy and sad. You can remember this experience as joyful and difficult."
If she could go back and speak to her newly pregnant self, she said she would want to feel more grounded and prepared in the decisions she wanted to make during birth, and to really stand firm in those values. Because birth often asks you to make decisions quickly, and those moments can feel overwhelming without preparation.
Her advice to other mothers is simple and honest: "Take any curveballs during birth in stride. Educate yourself."